Most parents enter their parenthood journey and feeding thinking it’s about ounces. How much milk went in, how long it took, what the scale says after. Numbers feel safe. They give us something to hold onto when the rest of parenting feels like absolute chaos.

But, babies don’t come wired in ounces. They come wired in signals. Tiny movements, shifts in breathing, a hand that suddenly opens, a shoulder that stiffens, a brow that furrows. These are the cues that tell us everything numbers can’t.

A baby might drink plenty but still be exhausted from working too hard. They might swallow air with every gulp and only “tell you” hours later when the crying doesn’t stop. They might refuse the bottle, not because they’re stubborn, but because the position doesn’t feel safe and comfortable to them.

Feeding, at its core, is about communication between baby and mother. Milk matters, of course, but what matters more is the back-and-forth. Watching how your baby’s body reacts. Pausing when they pause. Repositioning when they give a subtle signal. This is where feeding shifts from a transaction into a relationship.

And here’s the hidden gift: when you learn to read cues, you start seeing them everywhere.

Feeding is practice for listening. Milk fills the stomach, but baby's cues shape the bond.

Three Cues to Start Watching For Today

1. Hands – Clenched fists often mean stress or effort. Likewise so do splayed fingers held in a Stop sign. Soft, open hands show readiness and comfort.

2. Breathing – Fast or shallow breaths signal the need to pause. An audible squeak means slow down even more. A steady rhythm means they’re coping well.

3. Posture – Arching back or pulling away is your baby’s way of saying “not right now.” Leaning in or relaxing shows engagement.

Start with these three. Watch. Pause. Respond. You’ll be surprised how quickly feeding turns into a conversation.